From Smiles To Meltdowns
When I first met Julie, she had a lot of anxiety about how to best support her autistic 5 year old daughter, Sophia.
Sophia loved to explore different activities. She showed lots of energy. She would often express her excitement by laughing, shouting, and jumping.
But at some point, she would start getting upset for no apparent reason. She would throw things, cry, and hit herself.
Julie had tried all sorts of things but nothing seemed to help. She was puzzled with how an activity that started out as being so much fun for her daughter could end up with so many behaviors.
Julie knew that preventing her daughter from playing and exploring was not the solution.
She really wanted to figure out what was at the root of the problem and identify better ways to support her daughter. She just didn't know how.
Change Is Possible
Fast forward a couple of weeks of working together, Julie reported that Sophia was doing much better at staying regulated. She would still become excited, but no longer cried, hit herself, or threw things.
And with some support, she was beginning to acknowledge that she needed a break and then was able to resume the activity after a few minutes. Both mom and Sophia felt better.
What Helped?
I started by asking Julie many questions about the types of situations where those behaviors happened. We looked for patterns and triggers. We came to the conclusion that Sophia was getting overstimulated by each of those activities.
Although she was having fun, she couldn’t regulate the impact of having fun. I used the analogy of being on a roller coaster. Many people would love the sensation of the roller coaster, but if it went on for too long, or if they went back on the same ride over and over, they may get sick.
This resonated with Julie.
Her daughter’s nervous system could handle some stimulation, but when the excitement kept going past a certain point or if it was too intense, she became dysregulated as her nervous system was in overload.
Once we understood the cause, we brainstormed about ways to support Sophia in staying better regulated when excited by an activity.
We looked at picking better timing for certain activities to make sure that Sophia wasn’t already dysregulated when engaging in an activity.
Julie tried things like modeling phrases to help Sophia express herself. She shortened the duration of some activities, incorporating more movement breaks during the activity, while sharing with Sophia why we were doing all of this.
The goal was to help Sophia understand herself better so that she could gradually learn how to manage her own regulation.
Three Key Factors In This Case:
1. Understand what was creating dysregulation for Sophia
2. Identify strategies to help her stay better regulated
3. Empower Sophia with our insights in a way that she could understand and apply
We used a neuro affirming approach that didn’t create any shame and laid the foundation for the development of lifelong skills. It was empowering for both mom and her daughter.
